作者 主题: 【无授权翻译】约翰森先生不允许……(外一则)  (阅读 2034 次)

副标题: 翻译:薛猫

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原文:http://forums.dumpshock.com/lofiversion/index.php/t13202.html

1. First rule: I don't care if Neo and Trinity did it. You do not have to kill everyone in the lobby when you enter it....
1、第一条:我不管尼奥和崔妮蒂这么做了。你们不应该一进门厅就杀光所有人……
2. In EVERY single lobby you enter...
2、每次进门厅……
3. Even when you're not on a mission.
3、甚至不在任务中。
4. The solution to every problem is not put more ammunition into it.
4、不是所有问题的答案都是都是朝它打更多子弹。
5. Miniguns are not proof God exists...
5、转轮机枪不是上帝存在的证明……
6. Even if they are THAT sweet.
6、即使它们真的有这么棒。
7. If you think you're being followed, standard procedure is to not to kill every single person whose seen you since leaving the mission site....
7、如果你觉得自己被跟踪了,标准流程不是杀掉每个在你离开任务地点后见过你的人……
8. Especially if you've been broadcast on Horizon TV since that point.
8、尤其是你在那之后就在地平线电视台上被广播了。
9. The attire of Shadowrunners is designed to be professional and serve as camoflage. It should not include the following....
9、狂奔者的着装应当专业、起到伪装的作用。不应当包括以下……
10. Bellbottoms.
10、喇叭裤。
11. Clown Pants.
11、小丑裤。
12. RUBBER pants.
12、橡胶短裤。
13. The mythical color darker than black.
13、神秘的比黑更黑的颜色。
14. Clothing from John Travolta's Saturday Night Fever.
14、John Travolta的《周末狂热夜》里的衣服。
15. ...or the Village People.
15、……或者村民乐队的。
16. Matching Ryu, Ken, and Chun Lee outfits.
16、隆、肯还有春丽一样的着装。
17. Bunny Ears.
17、兔耳。
18. School Girl Uniforms...
18、女学生制服……
19. Even if you ARE a psychotic Shadowrunner Schoolgirl.
19、哪怕你真的个精神病女学生狂奔者。
20. "I fire a LAW rocket at it" is not an acceptable answer to the Dragon's question of what you're doing in its lair.
20、“我朝它发射LAW火箭弹”不是当龙问你在它的巢穴里做什么时的可接受回答。
21. You are not the One.
21、你不是救世主。
22. You are not Batman.
22、你不是蝙蝠侠。
23. It is not acceptable to say you suddenly understand the code in order to win all encounters in the Matrix.
23、说你突然理解了所有代码好赢得所有矩阵遭遇是不可接受的。
24. "I want to tap that" is not acceptable as a social response to the Elvish Queen from Tir Nanog.
24、“我想撩她”不是对提尔纳诺精灵女王的得体社交回应。
25. Especially if you've got her tied up in the back of your van.
25、尤其是你把她绑在了你的厢车后座。
26. Katanas cannot cut through everything....
26、打刀不能切开一切……
27. So please stop trying.
27、所以请停止尝试。
28. "Everything Asia is automatically better" is not the secret to success in the business world.
28、“亚洲的东西必然更好”不是在商界取胜的秘诀。
29. Despite the fact that its a fairly safe bet when investing your money in this setting.
29、虽然当你这个设定里投资时这是个相当保险的决策。
30. It is forbidden to implant a cybernetic boombox into yourself so you can have your own soundtrack.
30、禁止给自己植入赛博播放器好让你有自己的配乐。
31. Especially not if its only "Kung Fu Fighting"
31、尤其是只有“功夫打斗”的。
32. Orc women do not get any better looking after a few drinks.
32、兽人女性不会在喝了几杯后变好看。
33. Nor do troll women.
33、巨魔女性也不会。
34. You just have low standards.
34、你只是标准低。
35. Offering to indulge those low standards won't get you out of trouble with them when they're guards.
35、提出满足那些低标准的不会让你在她们是守卫时解决你的麻烦。
36. ...Okay maybe once or twice.
36、……好吧可能有一两次。
37. Cybernetics in your sex organs are hereby forbidden as a topic of discussion.
37、特此禁止将你的性器官赛博改造作为讨论话题。
38. The same for genetic enhancement.
38、基因增强也同样。
39. Yes, we know you got it off the net.
39、是,我们知道你从网上弄到的。
40. There have been enough jokes about "Johnson."
40、“约翰森”的笑话已经够了。
41. You cannot have claws like Wolverine.
41、你不能有金刚狼那样的爪子。
42. ....even if Molly had them.
42、……即使莫利有。
43. You cannot speculate on whom would win....
43、你不能推测谁会赢……
44. Especially during a mission.
44、尤其是在任务中。
45. The objective of a misson is not "wipe out everyone in the building, loot the corpses, and burn it down" by default.
45、任务的目的不是默认为“消灭所有楼里的人、搜刮尸体、烧掉一切”。
46. ...That's just 96.5% of all missions.
46、……这只是96.5%的任务。
47. Chainsaws in place of your hands are just dumb.
47、你手里拿着电锯太蠢了。
48. Aztlan is not ruled by a sentient tiny dog that likes tacos.
48、阿兹特兰不是由一个喜欢塔可的灵智小狗统治。
49. Nor can you set him up as dictator.
49、你也不能让他当独裁者。
50. Cops are not to be referred to as the slang "target practice."
50、条子不能被称作“打靶目标”。
51. Killing Dwarves is not to be done out of hand....
51、不能随意杀矮人……
52. Because Dwarves are dumb.
52、因为矮人蠢。
53. The same applies to halflings, gnomes, and all short races.
53、对半身人、地精和其它矮种族也一样。
54. Your ultimate spending goal is not tactical nuclear warheads.
54、你最终的购买目标不是战术核弹头。
55. Psychotic degeneration of the psyche from cybernetics is not to be viewed as a benefit.
55、殖装导致的精神性心理衰退不能被当作优势。
56. Trenchcoats, Katanas, Bullet proof vests, mirrorshades, and machine guns are not the only thing that people wear in the future.
56、未来的人不是只穿戴风衣、打刀、防弹背心、镜面衣和机枪。
57. ....just people in your profession.
57、……只是你这种职业的人这样穿。
58. Corporate HQs are not to be referred to as 'Dungeons.'
58、不要把公司总部叫做“地城”。
59. The first place to look for the Vampire lord of the city is not at a LARP.
59、第一个寻找城里吸血鬼头目的地方不是LARP。
60. The UCAS is not to be referred to as "the Blue States" zone.
60、不要把UCAS称作“蓝州”区。
61. The Confederates are not to be referred as "The Red States."
61、不要把美利坚联盟国称作“红州”。
62. The split is not because of the 2004 election.
62、分裂不是因为2004大选。
63. It's just one of the major causes.
63、这只是其中一个主要原因。
64. The Great Old Ones coming from Aztlan are not a 'kickass opportunity for a Delta Green crossover.'
64、来自阿兹特拉的古神不是个“牛逼的绿色三角洲crossover机会”。
65. Running around the southern portion of North America in an orange vehicle with the Confederacy flag is not a way to 'blend in.'
65、带着邦联州旗驾驶橙色载具在北美南部乱开不是“融入”。
66. You will kindly cease asking about the cost of sexaroids.
66、你会友好地不问关于性爱无人机的价格。
67. NO YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE.
67、不你一个都不能买。
68. OR TWO.
68、两个也不行。
69. Catgirls are not the greatest benefit of science in the future.
69、猫娘不是未来科技的最大好处。
70. ...Just one of them.
70、……只是其中之一。
71. It is wrong to hire another less experienced Shadowrunner team to go on ahead and use them for 'trap bait.'
71、雇佣另一队没那么有经验的狂奔者打头阵当“陷阱诱饵”是不对的。
72. The Great Crash was not caused by Windows.
72、大崩溃不是Windows引发的。
73. Or Y3K.
73、Y3K也不是。
74. Nor was the Second.
74、第二次也不是。
75. Boondock Saints is not the Manifesto of being a Shadowrunner.
75、《处刑人》不是狂奔者宣言。
76. ...only Irish ones.
76、……只用于爱尔兰狂奔者。
77. Nicole Kidman is not an elf.
77、妮可基德曼不是精灵。
78. I don't care how often you argue it.
78、我不管你吵多少次。
79. Anyone whom says Gibson missed a major opportunity by not having dragons and elves in his novels is not getting this job.
79、任何说吉布森没把龙和精灵放到他的小说里亏大了的人不会得到这份工作。
80. Novatech is not run by the Kennedys.
80、超星科技不是由肯尼迪家族控制。
81. Washington D.C. is not to be described as "A place even less effective as a center for leadership than it was in the 20th century."
81、不要把华盛顿DC描述为“一个比在20世纪更缺乏效率的领导中心”。
82. Tying two magic katanas together with a chain will not make it twice as effective.
82、把两把魔法打刀用铁链绑在一起不会让它的效果翻倍。
83. Mitsuhama was not made from Walmart.
83、三津滨不是来自沃尔玛。
84. You suspected he was a Terminator is not an excuse for using a rocket launcher on him.
84、你怀疑他是终结者不是朝他发射火箭弹的借口。
85. ...especially after the first three random uses.
85、……尤其是在最初随意使用了三次之后。
86. FOR ZION is not to be shouted whenever you kill dozens of people with wirefu gunplay....
86、不要任何时候你用威亚枪术杀掉十多个人后大喊“为了锡安”
87. Yes, even if your character is Jewish.
87、是的,你的角色是犹太人也不行。
88. Spending your money on plastic surgery to look like Tom Cruise will not get you a Nicole Kidman looking elf.
88、花钱整容让自己看起来像汤姆克鲁斯不会让你得到一个妮可基德曼样子的精灵。
89. You cannot wield TWO miniguns.
89、你不能手持两把转轮机枪。
90. The Jungle is not a place to go Predator hunting....
90、丛林不是捕猎铁血战士的地方……
91. You cannot hire Evo to make you a Predator to go hunting in the Jungle.
91、你不能雇天演给你造个铁血战士好在丛林里让你捕猎。
92. You cannot go to Japan just to see if you can find Public Security Section 9.
92、你不能去日本看看能不能找到公安九课。
93. I doubt Motoko Kusanagi would want to speak with you anyway.
93、我也怀疑草薙素子愿不愿意跟你说话。
94. You cannot have a lightsaber.
94、你不能有光剑。
95. Shadowrunning is not to be described as "solving the world's over population problem."
95、不能把狂奔描述为“解决世界人口过多问题”。
96. You CAN blow half of your payment on women, booze, and wild parties.
96、你可以将一半的报酬花在女人、酒精和狂野派对上。
97...Just don't spend the other half foolishly.
97、……只要不把另一半愚蠢地花掉。
98. It is not possible to get a genetic enhancement or spell so you can go Chibi whenever you panic.
98、不可能有一种基因增强或者法术让你在慌张时变成Q版。
99. A Technomancer's natural enemy is not the Order of Hermes.
99、超链的天敌不是赫尔墨斯结社。
100. "Here Come the Men in Black" is not to be played everytime Corporate Thugs appear.
100、不要每次公司恶棍出现时都玩“黑衣人来了”。
« 上次编辑: 2018-10-30, 周二 20:48:22 由 NewAlbionDrone »
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably an Andrik

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“想成为”大学 Wannabe U
« 回帖 #1 于: 2018-10-30, 周二 20:55:04 »
原文:http://blackjacksr.com/stuff/Humor/Humor010.htm

“想成为”大学
Wannabe U


剧透 -   :
School Of Melee
MEL101 Basic Melee Training
Using your fists, why it's always nice to have a knife, why it's nicer to have an sword.

MEL150 Intermediate Melee Training
Why it's even nicer to have an axe.

MEL210 Advanced Unarmed Combat
Going for the face.

MEL211 Advanced Blunt Weapons
Going for the head.

MEL212 Advanced Bladed Weapons
Going for anything.

MEL300 Monowhips
Going for your own face.

School Of Projectile Weapons
DISSOLVED (due to lack of popularity)
近战学院

MEL101 基本近战训练
使用你的拳头、为什么匕首好、为什么刀剑优。

MEL50 中级近战训练
为什么斧子更甚一筹。

MEL210 进阶徒手战斗
打脸。

MEL211 进阶钝器
打头。

MEL212 进阶利刃武器
打任意部位。

MEL300 单丝鞭
打你自己的脸。

投掷武器学院
取消(人数不足)
剧透 -   :
School Of Firearms
FIR101 Basic Firearms Training
How to load a clip, which way to point the barrel, how to fire a Warhawk without cracking your forehead in half when the gun flies up due to recoil.

FIR150 Intermediate Firearms Training
The concept of automatic weapons, learning to fire off massive amounts of ammo without necessarily hitting anything.

FIR210 Advanced Pistols
How firing two of them simultaneously makes it difficult to rotate your wrists in the morning.

FIR211 Advanced Rifles
How to get them through security by using the "Goin' huntin'" excuse.

FIR212 Advanced SMGs
How, despite what the movies show, your clip tends to last less time than it took to load it.

FIR213 Advanced Assault Rifles
How leaning on your AK with the barrel in the dirt is a good way to lose a hand.

FIR310 Sniping Weapons
How to lose friends and honor by shooting people in the back from nearly a kilometer away.

FIR315 Grenade Launchers
The best way to cause enormous collateral damage AND call the cops at the same time.

FIR320 Light Machine Guns
An introduction to excessive firepower.
枪械学院

FIR01 基础枪械训练
如何上弹夹、如何在枪身因后座乱动时不把额头敲成两半的条件下让战鹰开火。

FIR150 中级枪械训练
自动武器的概念、学习如何射出大量子弹而不击中任何东西。

FIR210 进阶手枪
如何同使用两把手枪以便让你的手腕第二天早上难以转动。

FIR211 进阶步枪
如何用“打猎去”这个借口让它们通过安检。

FIR212 进阶SMG
为什么,虽然和电影演的不一样,你的弹夹通常能支撑的时间比上弹花的时间要短。

FIR213 进阶突击步枪
为什么把枪管戳进土里靠在AK上是个失去一只手的好方法。

FIR310 狙击武器
如何因为隔一公里射击他人背部而失去朋友和荣誉。

FIR315 榴弹发射器
同时造成大量附带损失以及招来警察的最好方式。

FIR320 轻机枪
额外火力入门

剧透 -   :
School Of Gunnery
GUN101 Basic Gunnery
Where the engine of a vehicle is located, why you should shoot this engine, why you should not shoot this engine with a gunnery weapon while the cops are around.

GUN150 Intermediate Gunnery
Introduction to the concepts of "hosing" and "body count".

GUN210 Advanced Machine Guns
Finding some place to hide them, finding out that they are large and that it is difficult to find a place to hide them.

GUN211 Advanced Assault Cannons
Saying it with sabots.

GUN212 Advanced Missile Weapons
The concept of "fragmentation", why AVMs are called AVMs, why these AVMs do not hit people, why these AVMs usually hit the warmest target behind the people, why this target is not necessarily something you want to hit.

GUN310 Vehicle Weapons
Why you can't just carry them around, hitting moving targets from 15km away.
炮术学院

GUN101 基础炮术
载具的引擎在哪、为什么应该射引擎、为什么不应该在警方附近用炮术武器射这个引擎。

GUN150 中级炮术
“喷水式射击”和“死亡人数”概念入门。

GUN210 进阶机枪
找地方藏、研究为什么它们那么大以及那么难藏。

GUN211 进阶突击加农炮
和穿甲弹一起念。

GUN212 进阶导弹武器
“破片”的概念、为什么AVM(反载具导弹)被称作AVM,为什么AVM不打人、为什么这些AVM通常会击中人后面温度最高的目标、为什么该目标不一定是你想击中的。

GUN310 载具武器
为什么你不能随身携带、从15公里之外击中移动目标。

School Of Explosives
剧透 -   :
EXP101 Basic Explosives
How to not blow yourself up.

EXP150 Intermediate Explosives
How to blow up everything but yourself.

EXP210 Advanced Grenades
The concept of "scatter" and why this is bad. The concept of "chunky salsa" and why this is good.

EXP211 Advanced Plastique
Molding your explosives into hilarious bunny shapes.

EXP300 Large Scale Demolitions
Finding the basement.
爆破学院

EXP101 基础爆破
如何不把自己炸飞

EXP150 中等爆破
如何把除了你之外的所有东西炸飞。

EXP210 进阶榴弹
“偏斜”的概念以及它为什么糟。“浓稠莎莎酱”的概念以及它为什么好。

EXP211 进阶塑性炸药
将你的爆炸物捏成搞笑的兔子形状。

EXP300 大规模爆破
找到地下室。
剧透 -   :
School Of Athletics
ATH101 Basic Athletics
How to fall properly.

ATH150 Intermediate Athletics
How to fall and still be able to fire your gun.

ATH200 Advanced Athletics
How to not fall at all.
运动学院

ATH101 基础运动
如何恰当地跌倒。

ATH150 中级运动
如何在跌倒时能够开枪。

ATH200 进阶运动
如何不跌倒。

剧透 -   :
School Of Stealth
STE101 Basic Stealth
Why dry leaves are bad.

STE150 Intermediate Stealth
The best way to silently scale a building while hauling fifty kilograms of weaponry.

STE200 Advanced Stealth
Why it's best to leave the fifty kilograms of weaponry at home.
隐匿学院

STE101 基础隐匿
为什么干叶子不好。

STE150 中级隐匿
背着50公斤物品安静地攀爬建筑的最好方式。

STE200 进阶隐匿
为什么最好把50公斤武器留在家里。

剧透 -   :
School Of Medicine
MED101 Basic Biotech
Introduction to the Stim-Patch.

MED150 Intermediate Biotech
Introduction to the Trauma-Patch

MED200 Advanced Biotech
Why neither a Stim or Trauma-Patch works on an Assault Cannon victim.
医疗学院

MED101 基础生物技术
兴奋贴入门

MED150 中级生物技术
创伤贴入门

MED200 进阶生物技术
为什么兴奋贴和创伤贴都对突击加农炮伤员无效。

剧透 -   :
School Of Computers
COM101 Basic Computers
Where the switch is.

COM150 Intermediate Computers
How there is always somebody with a better deck than you.

COM210 Advanced Programming
Searching through 50,000 lines of Attack Program code for the one glitch that allowed that Blaster to stomp your face in last weekend.

COM211 Advanced Decking
Why red nodes are a bitch.

COM310 System Infiltration
Disguising yourself as a piece of fan mail to Renreku's CEO.

COM315 Combat Decking
Kicking butt in the matrix in less than a nanosecond.
计算机学院

   COM101 基础计算机   
开关在哪.

   COM150 中级计算机   
为什么总有人的碟板比你的好。

   COM210 进阶编程   
在攻击程序的5万行代码中寻找一处上周末让冲击波踢你脸上的错误。

   COM211 进阶骇入   
为什么十级主机是个臭婊子。

   COM310 系统渗透   
把你自己伪装成一封粉丝邮件发给联络的CEO。

   COM315 战斗骇入   
在矩阵的一纳秒内踢爆。


剧透 -   :
School Of Electronics
ELE101 Basic Electronics
Why getting shocked is bad.

ELE150 Intermediate Electronics
How the one door your really, really need to get through will always have a lock that none of your three hundred tools will work on.

ELE210 Advanced Surveillance
Why pictures of a top corporate official having intercourse with a hooker and various other forms of life are worth a thousand nuyen.

ELE211 Advanced Jamming
Police bands, corporate sat links, and your enemy's favorite radio station.

电子学学院

   ELE101 基础电子学   
为什么被电击很糟。

   ELE150 中级电子学   
为什么你非常非常非常需要通过的一扇门上总有一把你的三百件工具都打不开的锁。

   ELE210 进阶监控   
为什么一位高层公司职员和妓女之间交媾和其它各种生命形式的照片价值一千新円。

   ELE211 进阶干扰   
警用频段、公司卫星链,以及你的敌人最喜欢的电台。

剧透 -   :
School Of Magic
MAG101 Basic Magic
Exciting new ways to lose consciousness.

MAG150 Intermediate Magic
Why getting your spells locks blown isn't fun.

MAG210 Advanced Sorcery
Burning, blasting, and transforming your way to a large ego.

MAG211 Advanced Conjuring
Why conjured spirits are not necessarily your "pals".

MAG310 Astral Space
And you thought there was scary stuff on this plane of existence...

MAG315 Initiation
Wonderful ways to make people really, really, really, afraid of you.
魔法学院

   MAG101 基础魔法   
失去意识的新奇又刺激的方式。

   MAG150 中级魔法   
为什么让你的维持法器炸掉不好玩。

   MAG210 进阶巫术   
燃烧、爆炸、变形,让你获得极大虚荣。

   MAG211 进阶咒术   
为什么召唤的精魂并不一定是你的“伙伴”。

   MAG310 星界空间   
你以为这个位面存在恐怖的东西……

   MAG315 启蒙   
超棒的让人们非常、非常、非常害怕你的方式。
剧透 -   :
School Of Vehicular Science
VEH101 Basic Vehicles
Why a red light does not necessarily mean you have to stop.

VEH150 Intermediate Vehicles
Why a barricade does not necessarily mean you have to stop.

VEH210 Advanced Ground Vehicles
Avoiding speeding tickets, avoiding highways, avoiding traffic jams, avoiding the laws of physics.

VEH211 Advanced Aircraft
Seattle to San Fran in less time than it takes to spit on the floor of your favorite bar.

VEH212 Advanced Marine Vehicles
Introduction to the existence of large, scary, ocean going creatures who have tentacles as long as five of your boats put together.

VEH300 Rigging
How to jump an opening draw bridge, land vertically, roll eighteen times, tumble into the water, float down the river, wash up on the bank, get out, and remark: "Damn, scratched the paint."
载具科学学院

   VEH101 基础载具   
为什么红灯一定不意味着你要停。

   VEH150 中级载具   
为什么路障不一定意味着你要停。

   VEH210 进阶地面载具   
避开超速罚单、避开高速路、避开交通堵塞、避开物理法则。

   VEH211 进阶空中载具   
从西雅图到三藩市的时间比在你最喜欢的酒吧里吐痰的事件要短。

   VEH212 进阶水上载具   
触手有你的五条船加起来那么长的巨型恐怖海洋生物入门。

   VEH300 跳入    
如何跃过开启的吊桥、垂直落地、翻滚十八次、落入水中、沿河漂流、冲上岸边,下车,然后说:“该死,蹭掉漆了。”

« 上次编辑: 2018-11-01, 周四 08:52:10 由 NewAlbionDrone »
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably an Andrik